Sean uploaded this to his Flickr site on 5 January 2008.
Monthly Archives: November 2011
Pauline says that when she was in Dublin yesterday she kept expecting to see Sean. She says she doesn’t know whether she has fully accepted that he’s gone.
She still thinks of him all the time, and so do I. When I went to the supermarket today it was so easy to picture him walking beside me, to hear his voice, to imagine what he might be saying. The fact that he has died still seems unreal and unbelievable; there is a strong sense that he has not gone away at all. ‘The soul is surely not where it is, but where it loves’, Friedrich Schelling wrote. As I wrote myself in a song, ‘Hope is the cure for the heartache we feel/Hope that life is unending and death is unreal.’
Yesterday I went through old posts on his Facebook page – he uploaded the photo I now use as my avatar on 17 October 2009, exactly a year before he died (although it was taken long before that).
I was looking through Sean’s YouTube favourites, and thinking of posting a couple of tracks by Nina Simone, when I came across something very different.
I was quite touched to see it, as it’s a song I used to sing in the car on long journeys when the children were small – I remembered it from my own childhood – and everyone would join in. It’s also an excellent pub song, I have found … I sing it with a slightly different tune, as I remember it. Continue reading
1/9/98 – While we were eating some pizza for dinner, two wagtails flew into our bedroom window: one soon died; I put the other in a hedge where it may have survived.
2/9/98 – We had to wake Sean and Susanna in the morning for their first day at their new school. Pauline dressed them in their grey uniforms and took photos … [Later] Sean and Susanna both enjoyed their first day – Pauline had worried about Susanna because she cried a bit this morning on arrival, perhaps a bit confused. Sean, typically, ‘completely loves’ his teacher … While the kids were playing at Sinead’s, Pauline and I had a long walk around by Lurganboy. It was a beautiful evening, and the country landscape was lovely. We saw a fox running in a field, playfully (it seemed) trying to catch birds.
3/9/98 – Very happy to be living in the country – it’s so beautiful. Continue reading
1/12/98 – I had a walk up the fields in the afternoon; they seemed magical in the fog, which was very thick.
2/12/98 – Bought a Yamaha keyboard for Sean’s Christmas present.
3/12/98 – Before we went to bed I was locking up the garage when I heard a loud and strange noise from the field. I went to call Pauline, who had heard a strange (dissimilar) screaming the other night, then the noise had moved and got more distant. Perhaps the cry of a wild goose or some other bird, but very eerie.
4/12/98 – When the kids got home we all went to Maire’s to feed the hen and chicks … We let the kids stay up for the Late Late Toy Show, having tried unsuccessfully to video it. So they were up till midnight. Continue reading