Monthly Archives: February 2011

Some diary extracts … February to April 2002

14/2/02 – It was a nice dry, sunny day, and Sean played outside with Andy a lot – I played some soccer and rugby with them.

15/2/02 – Sean cooked trout for himself.

17/2/02 – Pauline dropped Sean and me off at the nine-eyed bridge to do some fishing – we didn’t catch anything. We dropped Sean off at Martin’s on the way home.

18/2/02 – Sean and I did some guitar practice.

19/2/02 – Sean fed the [neighbour’s] lamb.

22/2/02 – Stuart & co. are back, so we no longer have to feed the lamb – Stuart gave Sean a large Toblerone in thanks. Continue reading



Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories

Sean’s music 19 … Red Hot Chili Peppers

Yesterday we headed ‘up north’ to visit family and friends. On the way we listened to a ‘rock mix’ CD that Sean put together a few years ago. There are three tracks on it by the Red Hot Chili Peppers – ‘By the Way’, ‘Otherside’ and ‘Zephyr Song’. Coincidentally, our host last night is a big RHCP fan and put on one of their CDs while we were having dinner.

Sean enjoyed the band’s music and listened to them quite a lot. These songs remind of a time (not too long ago) and a place (right here, but with added Sean). Continue reading


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, Music

Come Back and See Me

Here is a very rough-and-ready version of a song I have just written for Sean. You can hear it if you click on the title.

Come Back and See Me

I’ve been thinking about you
Since you first went away
Imagining that you
Might come back for a day

Would you come back and see me
And show me your smile?
We’ll play by the rules and
You’ll stay for a while

There’s no need for talking
If there’s nothing to say
We won’t have tomorrow
We just have today

We’ll both pretend that
You’re still alive
We’ll get in the car and
We’ll go for a drive

So put on some music
You can choose
I don’t care what it is, we
Have nothing to lose Continue reading


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, Music


Sean took this photo years ago. The bike belonged to the old man who lived across the road.


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, Photography

7021 Days

Here is another song I have written for Sean. Please click on the title below to hear it.

7021 Days

Go to bed, turn out the light
We’ll be up to say goodnight
Just enjoy being what you are
A radiant boy, a shooting star
When all else fails you’ll still have home
Even when you move out on your own
In life or death you’ll never walk alone

You never asked for much but you always had plenty
You had all the love in the world though you never saw twenty
You had the charm and the turn of phrase
You never lost the power to amaze
In your seven thousand and twenty one days
Seven thousand and twenty one days
Continue reading


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, Music

Some diary extracts … May to July 2002

4/5/02 – [The four of us went to Lansdowne Road …] Sean got Ronan O’Gara’s autograph (O’Gara is injured at present) … It was a warm, sunny day, and we enjoyed the match. Shannon beat Cork Con 21–17, and it provided good entertainment. Sean did a lot of shouting for Shannon. Afterwards we went down on the pitch (and got separated from Sean for some time) … Sean and Susanna had been given small blow-up rugby balls, and Sean enjoyed diving over the try-line and so on.

12/5/02 – Late in the evening Sean, Susanna and I had to retrieve Woolie from a hedge in Ned’s field, into which she had fallen from the ditch.

[Much playing of pool with numerous children in the house in these days, and of soccer on the lawn.] Continue reading


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, The music of what happened


Our garden becomes overgrown in places each summer … the soil is fertile and plants (weed and non-weed alike) grow like wildfire. Lost, mislaid or discarded items are soon forgotten, until exposed by the autumn leaf-fall and winter wilt.

Today it is pleasant, sunny and spring-like in this part of rural Ireland – just the sort of day when Sean would have insisted, through the years, that I come out and kick a football on the lawn with him. The two of us would have stood in goals at opposite ends and taken shots at each other, sportingly offering encouragement and praising our opponent’s efforts. Sean was much better in goals than me, so he generally scored more, although we were roughly equal in the shooting department.

I walked round the garden this morning and picked up several old footballs in varying stages of decrepitude, as well as a couple of basketballs, a furless tennis ball and a down-at-heel Frisbee. Relics of good times … Continue reading


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, Sport

Four months

It is four months today since Sean died. It also happens to be his mother’s birthday (last year on her birthday card he wrote: ‘Happy B-day Mam. Hope you have a great day and a great year. I really do appreciate everything you have done, and continue to do for me. I love you as much as a son could love his mother. Sean. PS. Sorry about the horrible card.’)

What would Sean be doing now if he hadn’t died? Well, he would probably still be here living with us, although it’s possible that he and Clio would have got a place of their own. He would have been trying to get work, and might have been working in a bar, for example. He had been offered a place at Dublin City University for next year, and wanted to save money to fund it. Continue reading


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, Philosophy of life

Sean’s music 18 … Cold War Kids

I think Sean first became aware of this Californian band when ‘Hospital Beds’ was featured on Scrubs. He used to play this track a lot a couple of years ago; I associate it with a large batch of songs by other people, such as the Kings of Leon, Against Me! and Eagle-Eye Cherry, that he was also playing at the time – he would often say that he wanted to ‘show’ me a new song, or play something and ask me to guess who it was. Happy days and nights.

‘Hang Me Up to Dry’ became another favourite – I think these are two great tracks. ‘Hospital Beds’ will always be one of the songs that most remind me of Sean – one of the couple of hundred songs that can make me cry, as I wrote in a song of my own. Continue reading


Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories, Music, Uncategorized

Words Cannot

I put a tune to a poem I posted here before … just half a minute long. It’s for Sean, of course.

Words Cannot

The poem is here.


Filed under Ireland, Memories, Music, Philosophy of life, Poems