Pauline says that when she was in Dublin yesterday she kept expecting to see Sean. She says she doesn’t know whether she has fully accepted that he’s gone.
She still thinks of him all the time, and so do I. When I went to the supermarket today it was so easy to picture him walking beside me, to hear his voice, to imagine what he might be saying. The fact that he has died still seems unreal and unbelievable; there is a strong sense that he has not gone away at all. ‘The soul is surely not where it is, but where it loves’, Friedrich Schelling wrote. As I wrote myself in a song, ‘Hope is the cure for the heartache we feel/Hope that life is unending and death is unreal.’
Yesterday I went through old posts on his Facebook page – he uploaded the photo I now use as my avatar on 17 October 2009, exactly a year before he died (although it was taken long before that).
This is song number 17. To listen to it, please click here: Heat of Love
THE HEAT OF LOVE
From the start
To give expression to
Your beating heart Continue reading
Sean with his friend 'Cusker'
We continue to hear stories about Sean. Yesterday we learned that after the brother of one of Sean’s close friends ‘came out’, Sean approached him to shake his hand and congratulate him, and say ‘well done’. Sean, I think, was the only one to do that, and it meant a lot to the young man in question. He also made supportive comments online. Sean believed that people should be what they are, and be allowed to be what they are.
As Susanna puts it, Sean was ‘very accepting’. She is very accepting too … exceptionally so. She is a lovely person, and Sean was too. We hear that he often made the effort to talk at length to someone who didn’t quite fit in, or was on the edge of the group, and we have heard the same thing about Susanna – from her teachers and others. They tell us that she is a wonderful ambassador for her school. Continue reading
I love this photo, which I have posted here before. I have written a song that was inspired by it and other photos of Sean and Clio in the snow, which have a certain magic for Pauline and me.
Please click here to play the song: sacits3
Sean and Clio in the Snow
On the wall some photos show
Sean and Clio in the snow
On the streets of Cavan town
With the snowflakes drifting down
From the snug apartment’s heat
Snow calls them out onto the street
They go walking hand in hand
In the winter wonderland
All the beauty of the night
All the songs that might be sung
Call and cannot be denied
By the heartbeats of the young Continue reading
Time for one more,
Eyes are bright;
In store tonight.
Told me often
That she might
Sail the coffin
To the light. Continue reading
Intent on being intense, she’s a ferally attractive
Leopardess from nights of yore;
Tail a-swaying, captive geese a-laying,
Crystal bowls refractive of my lust for lore.
We have goldfish to fry, mullet to misidentify
As Liffey salmon, strings to strum and cords to sever
(Those things can wait for now … and possibly for ever.) Continue reading