Loss and love

The pain of bereavement is an organic thing – it does not stay the same. It changes and develops just like the person who has been lost would have changed and developed. We did not lose only the 19-year-old Sean whom we loved so much. We lost the 20-year-old Sean, the 21-year-old Sean, and now the 22-year-old Sean. And so it will go on, for the rest of our lives in this world. We lost his joys, his tribulations, his company … his children. We lost his friends (although we may see some of them from time to time). We lost his future friends and colleagues. The void left by his passing does not diminish – it grows larger as his life would have. It cannot be properly filled.

Yet it is filled to some degree by memories of Sean, by the pride and joy of having known him, and by the feeling that somehow he is still around – not just in the heads of those who knew him, but in a real, albeit intangible, sense – and that all is well.

We have proof of the indelibility of love, which is not just a figment of our brain cells but a force in the universe – a river in which we swim.

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10 Comments

Filed under Death, Ireland, Memories

10 responses to “Loss and love

  1. Ike Jakson

    It is always good to see you and hear your voice, Brendan. God be with you; your memories help others and that is good too. Ike

    On 9/12/13, The road to God knows where … Brendan O’Brien

  2. Hello Ike – thank you for the encouragement, and I’m glad if anyone else is helped by what I write.

  3. He was lucky to have you, as you are keeping memories of him alive. Yes, I will add that you have helped me.

  4. amy o neill

    have just watched you on nationwide-am speeechless at yer strength at a time of great loss

  5. Shermeen

    Beautiful blog, Brendan…one that leaves me rather unable to say much for it has moved me intensely.

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