Blog rationale, and some diary extracts

The purpose of this blog, since 17 October last, has been to document the life of my son Sean, who died on that day at the age of 19. I hope to build up as detailed a picture as I can.

I will never manage a true representation of Sean … he was too complex and multifaceted for that, and I, like everyone else that knew him, knew him only partly. I loved him, as did many others.

The fragments I present on the blog – photos of moments and people in his life, anecdotes, poems, the things he liked, what he said, the games he played, his music, what people said about him – may form a kind of wall mosaic that, from a distance, looks like a reasonable likeness of Sean. Up close, only the fragments will be visible, but it’s the best I can do. The more fragments I add, the truer the mosaic … or at least that’s the theory.

It will be a sort of memorial to Sean, though the very fact that one is required still breaks our hearts. It will be good for me and, I hope, for others. I know that many people who knew Sean read this blog (they are very welcome to comment here, by the way). It won’t bring Sean back, but it may help him to be held in the memory, as he so deserves to be.

Here are some fairly random snippets from my diary, a few years back.

4/4/04 – Sean watched Good Will Hunting upstairs, and the rest of us watched a movie called The Wedding Dress, which was pretty weak. Sean was very impressed with Good Will Hunting, and we discussed it.

6/4/04 – I cooked rice, with dhal for three of us and pork for Sean. We watched Arsenal exit the Champions League at the hands of Chelsea – a bitter disappointment for Sean.

27/5/04 – Sean had a school trip with his class – to museums in Dublin. All he brought with him was a Bob Marley CD and a Jimi Hendrix one.

5/6//04 – I went back to Virginia to collect Sean. Just after we pulled out of Eoin’s lane, turning right, another car smashed into the back of us. Our car was knocked onto the driver’s side, righted itself, and ended up facing in the opposite direction. Luckily, neither Sean nor myself was badly hurt. Sean got a bump on the head. We both were able to walk away. Immediately, people came over and said that the young guys in the other car had been drunk in town earlier, and had been seen speeding.

30/6/04 – Sean’s school report came – he generally did quite well, but there are lots of comments from teachers along the lines of ‘has great ability but needs to concentrate’.

2/7/04 – Sean was away for most of the day, swimming in Lough Ramor and so on.

13/7/04 [Sean and two friends had] been to the cinema to see a movie called Twisted, which was 15PG – one of them had to be 15, and Sean was the only one who passed for that age, to his delight.

29/7/05 – The day after Sean’s fourteenth birthday. As I write, he is off at Yamo, the heavy metal gig in Navan with numerous friends from Munterconnaught and school and even some from Navan – Sean knows an awful lot of people; he’s terribly sociable and popular, not least with girls a year or two his senior. He runs like a thoroughbred and is turning into a fine young man.

17/11/05 – Last week I had Sean’s parent–teacher meetings – Pauline wasn’t able to go. The general consensus was that Sean’s attitude, and hence his performance, had improved greatly in the past couple of months (previously we had generally been told that he had high ability but needed to concentrate and so on).



Filed under Anecdotes, Biography, Blogging, Death, Ireland, Memories, The music of what happened

12 responses to “Blog rationale, and some diary extracts

  1. This is a lovely photo, and your diary extracts give an insight into warm family life. Thanks.
    Did you like Good Will Hunting? I did not think much of it.

    • Hi Isobel … it’s good to see you. I hope you’re well.

      Yes, I liked Good Will Hunting a lot … I had already seen it in the cinema by then. It was one of Sean’s favourites … probably his very favourite, in fact … and he watched it many times.

  2. papaguinea

    Hi Brendano, yes like a mosaic the pieces here are fragments of Sean’s life. Yes they are “pieces” as you paste or post them up, but I cannot see the cracks for something
    greater shines through – the love you have for him and the love he has for you. It is a quality that gives the ‘picture’ an overall sheen or protective skin.

  3. It is right and fitting that you should focus on this recent tragedy and try and make sense of it. I noticed one of the dates in a previous blog. As Sean was playing rugby someone I know was having a spot of bother with half a dozen goons in police uniform. Typhoid and Swans…all come from the same place (Koning, “America Made Me”).

  4. Greetings Brendan. Got to love the museum trip that yielded the Marley and Hendrix CDs. The boy had taste.

    A handsome boy in every image. You’re fortunate you all took photographs. I know families who don’t bother, even now when photography is so simple. I hope you are surrounding yourselves with them. Take care.

    • Greetings, Jan … good to see you. I hope all is well with you and you’re bicycling away as usual.

      Yes, he was a handsome boy. The photo here was taken around the time of these diary extracts.

      We have put up quite a few photos on the walls, in frames and collages, especially of Sean but also of ourselves and extended family, since he died. Pauline took loads when the children were small, and fortunately there are a reasonable number of more recent ones of Sean … enough to last me a while on this blog at any rate.

      Thanks for commenting.

  5. Clio

    Remember the first time i stayed in the house and it was for the whole weekend…I remember saying to Sean I hope your parents dont mind..he replied by telling me that both you and pauline were not like most parents..he told me that i shouldn’t worry although i was very nervous meeting you for the first time Sean said we would hit it off which we did…I’m very grateful i met Sean I wouldnt be the same girl i am today without his help.”A woman she loves me with all of her heart and I love her too”

    • Thanks, Clio. Sean was very, very lucky he met you. You were the love of his life. Pauline and I are so glad that the two of you had a year together … it’s a shame that you didn’t have more time, but you made the most of it. Many people never know a love like that in their whole lives.

      I remember I was sitting here at my computer when Sean rang and asked ‘Can I bring someone home?’ You were very welcome, of course, and you always will be.

      • Clio

        yes I do recall he referred to me as someone ha…if i do remember correctly he hadnt officially asked me to be his girlfriend I didnt want to go home that weekend following a silly argument with my parents he always looked after me…and yes I agree I don’t think many find that one person who makes their whole world complete..I was fortunate enough to have found Sean…and he will be forever in my heart and of course yourself, Pauline and Susie.

        • … and Pippa and Tango. 🙂

          Thanks, Clio … nice of you to say so. We always liked having you here. It was always easy to get on with you … easier than getting on with Sean sometimes. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s