To Sean

Sean, I am sorry you are missing this Christmas and all the fun and joy you would have had with Clio and your friends, and us. We miss you terribly, of course. Your mum and I console ourselves with the idea that it was meant to be … that it is all part of a greater scheme.

This seems to make sense … for one thing, we have always been spiritual people and believed in higher powers. We talk about the peaceful way you left, and the timing, and many other details that point to a purpose and a plan.

We speculate that at some unconscious level of your mind you may have known that your time in this world would be short, and that was why you had such an amazing lust for life, which made so many people love you.

They loved you too for your charm; your charisma; your good looks; your sweet, humorous and loving nature. You were something else … something special. There will never be another like you, Sean. You were great company – a great son and, more and more, a great friend to us.

As well as all those qualities, I admire you for your courage in facing the world head-on, and living your life to the full. You made it look easy, but it can’t always have been easy. It took guts.

You pushed the boundaries. You didn’t compromise if you could help it. At times that didn’t make it easy to live with you, but we have no regrets. We know we were good parents, and we know that you thought so too – that you respected us and were grateful for the way we brought you up. You worshipped your mother.

I admire you for the way you treated people. Many have spoken of what a good friend you were to them, how you helped them when they needed help, how you gave them good advice, how you never held a grudge. Clio has told us how good and loving and supportive you were towards her. I am proud of you for that.

You saw the good in people … you could see into people, past their age, appearance and so on. You would chat to anyone. You didn’t judge people, and you encouraged others to be as tolerant as you were. You believed in peace and love, and (as you said yourself) the power of the human mind. You were outspoken in sharing those beliefs.

I will write much more about you, in verse and in prose, but I know that all the words in the world could never do you justice. I only knew part of you … nobody knew all of you, not even you yourself. But you had managed to find out a lot about yourself in your 7,021 days. Well done.

Thank you for everything you gave us. You enriched our lives more than words can say. We loved having you. It was a wonderful, wonderful time of our lives. I will think of you every day for the rest of my life. You know I will. At present I think of you every minute.

You are a hero to me, and I will love you always.



Filed under Memories

26 responses to “To Sean

  1. 7021 days! I’m 3 times that and more but its only in the last 5 years that I’ve lit the blue touch paper. Party on Sean wherever you are for here on earth we strive to think of the greater scheme of things. If we only knew our days, our number. But that would spoil the choice we have; we would be too controlling. Best to seize the day, each and every day, and love like there’s no tomorrow. Brendano and family I send you my best thoughts and best wishes.

  2. Marya

    Hello Brendan .. Beautiful words of tribute and a beautiful photo of a little Sean ..
    My thoughts and prayers for you all tomorrow .. God Bless.

    Marya x

    • Hello Marya … thank you for this. We appreciate it.

      Five of Sean’s friends called to the house a while ago, in a group, having just been to the graveyard. They talked and laughed about Sean and his ways. It was great to see them.

      • Marya

        That was good to share those happy memories of Sean on the Eve that is always so filled with memories embedded in our hearts.

        Many blessings this Christmas Day, Brendan, for you all.

        Marya x

  3. Bilby

    Such a loved and loving boy. The photos you have posted of Sean on this site are very special, as are your memories of your beautiful son and how much you love and miss him.

    With all good wishes for tomorrow, Brendan. I will be thinking of you and your family.

    • Thank you Bilby … it’s been a good Christmas so far in that the water in the pipes froze but then started flowing again … you never miss your water till your well runs dry!

      Your good wishes are much appreciated … Happy Christmas to you and your family from all here. 🙂

  4. Shermeen

    Good morning Brendano. I have been away from the world of blogs, internet etc. for a while facing some challenges life has brought my way.
    I wish peace descends on your home today and always. This, like all your other tributes to Sean, is beautiful and the photo is simply angelic.

  5. Cymbeline

    Dearest Brendan,
    A Christmas wish to you and your family; I wish you peace, and hope.
    Anna xxx

  6. claire2

    Hello Brendano. I have been thinking of you. Best wishes at this difficult time

  7. Rainer the cabbie

    Hopefully this is not leaving the post on a negative note, but I am assured that you and your family had a great Christmas day.

    For Sean, who is dearly missed by his loved ones :


  8. claire2

    Yes, we did, thank you for asking… I hope it was a peaceful time for you and your family as well x

  9. Brendan, you said, “we have always been spiritual people and believed in higher powers.” Do you think that this experience has made you more or less spiritual? Has it changed your beliefs in any way? It is not a trick question. I am just curious as to how traumatic events such as the loss of a child change one’s perception of the meaning and purpose of life.

    • Hello Sipu. Thank you … it’s a good and fair question.

      First, I do still think that there is meaning and purpose to life … that it is not random and arbitrary. I think each of us has a responsibility to live well and try to develop our potential, and that by so doing we contribute in some way to the unfolding and gradual consummation of life.

      Many people have said that Sean still exists as an entity … as soul or spirit. This of course is the view of the major religions. I would like to believe it and I tend to believe it, although everything goes through one’s mind – especially in the early stages. It is not something on which I can reach any conclusion, nor do I really want to. I hope, of course, that Sean and I will meet again. I don’t think my beliefs, such as they are, have changed.

  10. Jaimeatdnmyt

    Such a sweet faced child…

    My best wishes to you and your family during the coming year.

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