Cary Grant’s press agent grew tired of being asked Grant’s age. In reply to a telegram ‘How old Cary Grant?’ he wrote ‘Old Cary Grant fine. How you?’

Samuel Johnson’s reply to an author who sent him a manuscript: ‘Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.’

Groucho Marx: ‘From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.’

A plagiarist is a person with homotextual tendencies.

Secret of a happy marriage: In an argument, quit while she’s ahead.

Error message on a moralistic computer: ‘This operation has failed because of your sinful ways. Please mend your sinful ways and try again.’

I didn’t want my cat to have kittens, so I had her spayed. Was this an ovary action?

A headline: ‘Film critic’s funeral is slight, but funny, winning and poignant.’

A fact: In 1917, six Russian generals and an admiral drove taxis in Paris.



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12 responses to “Miscellanea

  1. Nice bit of misscellanea B, which gave me a much needed chuckle. I especially like the Groucho Marx quote.

    What do you think about Gorillaz headlining Glastonbury now that Bono’s out of action? A worthy replacement perhaps, yet more importantly will you be hunting out your wellies?

  2. Pseu

    A smile a day keeps the doctor at bay.

  3. Hi Flavia and Pseu. My wellies have more mundane duties these days, Flavia. 🙂 A festival like that might kill me at my advanced age, so I’ll just watch it on the telly with a few glasses of wine.

    I haven’t heard much of Gorillaz, but they seem pretty good. I’ve never been a U2 fan, but I’m sure they would have put on a great show, like the real oldies (Springsteen and Neil Young) did last year.

    This will more than likely be the only festival I attend this summer:


    My son will probably be working in a bar there.

  4. helpmaboab

    “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

    (Dorothy Parker)

  5. Nice one, hmb. At the book launch I was at last week, the author in his speech quoted from a P.G. Wodehouse novel along the lines of ‘Ms X talked for 45 minutes about the novel she’d published – a simple excuse would have sufficed.’

  6. Oooh, Neil Young..you lucky person! I thought Bono was quite fetching with long hair during the Joshua Tree phase, but after Achtung Baby things went downhill from there for me, and don’t even get me started on the ‘preaching’.
    I like Gorillaz. As for Glastonbury, the last time I went I saw the Cure and Sinead O’Connor back in 1990. Cripes, I was 19 then!

  7. You’re still a youngster, Flavia. I remember going to the Fleadh in Finsbury Park in the summer of 1990 … the Pogues and Van Morrison, and Ireland on their way to the World Cup … sob!

  8. On U2, I did like a lot of their Rattle and Hum stuff from the phase you mention … haven’t really listened to them since.

  9. I made Van Morrison a sandwich once! The most taciturn customer I’ve ever come across, but boy as I’ve got older the more I appreciate his music! We dance to his music in the kitchen.

  10. I’m sure Van enjoyed his sandwich, Flavia. 🙂 I seem to recall that you also made sandwiches for some other rock band, but I might be completely wrong.

    I like Van’s music but, for some reason, I don’t listen to it much. The albums I know well are Astral Weeks, Moondance, Wavelength, Inarticulate Speech of the Heart … I think Wavelength deserves to be better known, or maybe I just have good memories associated with it.

  11. You have a very good memory. Yes, it was Tears for Fears. Cheesy and nice, the band, not the sandwich! ;-D

  12. Of course, Flavia. 🙂

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